Depression Was Not Made To Rule You | Hollie Payette
Just a little over a year ago, I found myself sitting in one of a sequence of chairs along the wall in a small health clinic.
"Hollie", they called out loud as they opened the door that led back to hallways that were filled with small, private rooms for patients that needed to be seen. I got up and walked back with the nurse that had me step on the scale and then check my height. She led me back to the room where she let me know that my doctor would soon be in. In that room, there sat a bed that patients are to sit on while waiting to be seen, however, I chose to sit in a blue chair that was opposite of the bed. I didn't want to acknowledge that I had come to this point. Several minutes passed by while I sat there holding back what I would soon need to address, the true reason I was there.
My doctor quietly and slowly opened the door to see me sitting in the chair rather than the bed and had a look of confusion. She sat on her tiny chair with wheels and pulled out her laptop. The questions she asked were nothing more than her normal routine of questions that need to be answered before approaching the true reason behind the visit. However, what she was about to ask had nothing to do with why I was there.
"So, it says here that you’re here because of your acid reflex?" I had lied while booking my appointment. I just couldn't admit this to myself after all these years. "Actually, I’m not here for that..." She looked up at me confused. Years upon years of denial, of hiding, of suffering came pouring out. "I think I need to be on an anti-depressant", I say as I burst into tears. [...]
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